Old Fiction
Secret Page #2
Unfortunately, I cannot find the story about the man and his kangaroo. I think it was handwritten and is probably tucked away in some folder in my parents’ attic. I was able to find two other examples of my writings as a youth. I’ve edited them only as much as to make it readable (I didn’t know I had dyslexia at the time).
No. 1 – A Volcano Story.
I wrote this when I was 12-13. You will notice that my younger self included a lot of numerical details. The time will be both specific yet approximate, and distances, as well as scale, will be included and yet I know for a fact that when I wrote it, I didn’t have a good understanding of scale at all. So if something was “100 feet,” What I meant was that it was “big.” I don’t know why I felt that it was important; it’s not like in real life, everyone is making specific note of both the specific sizes and times (okay, time maybe, but not sizes). I also didn’t know about how dialog works… at all.
Anyway, this is just chapter one of, I guess, my first novel? I wrote two and a half chapters, but never touched them after that. It follows George, who is a kid of (oddly enough) an unspecified age, but I think he was probably my age at the time of writing. I had just learned about Mt. Saint Helena’s eruption in 1980, and something about it captured my imagination (That, and my dad had just shown us Google Earth for the first time, so I was able to “see” all the mountains and cities in all their glory).
The premise is that George is the only one who figures out that Mt. Rainier is going to explode and thus is the only one who can save Seattle. How was he going to do this? I have no idea. I think that’s why I stopped writing. I also find it really funny that somehow, in the future, this kid is able to discover that a huge volcanic catastrophe is about to take place, and NOT a single adult/scientist notices that there is any danger.
Also, I had no idea how dialog worked… but I honestly think that the way it’s formatted gives it a kind of strange natural/subconscious flow, and so I’ve left that the same. You will also notice that I, as a 13-year-old homeschooled kid, had no idea what public school was like… That’s all I will say on the matter.
Eruption
Chapter 1: Smoking
During the year 2051 in Seattle, George Michelson looked out of his bedroom window. He was looking at MT. Rainier. Smoke belched out of the volcano’s mouth. It was approximately 7:20 AM. With a sigh, he walked out of his bedroom and down the steps. When he got to the kitchen his mom was making breakfast. “High George, you better sit down and have some breakfast or you will be late for school.” Then she saw his face. “What’s wrong” she asked? “There’s smoke coming out of the volcano” he said. “Well it’s probably just a false alarm” said George’s mom, trying to sound cheerful. But George saw a worried frown as she turned back to the stove. George decided to forget about the volcano. He sat down at the table. His mom put a plate filled with six pancakes and four pieces of bacon. When he was finished, he grabbed the paper bag that had his lunch and ran out of the door. “Bye George!” “See ya mom!”
George ran down the two blocks to his school. The school was a two story brick building, which was about 100 feet long and 200 feet wide, with a 10 foot fence surrounding the school. George ran through the gate and up the school’s front steps. When he ran in, the first room he entered was the locker room. He stopped to put his stuff in his locker. Then he ran into the next room. The next room had two rows of long tables, and each table had two sets of benches. A flight of stairs was at the far end of the room. George ran up these. When he got to the top, it opened into the entire second floor. Three quarters of the room was filled with desks. The other quarter had the teacher’s desk and a book shelf. About 15 students sat in their seats talking in low whispers, the teacher sat at his desk reading a book while he waited for the other students to arrive. George sat in his set. He opened his desk lid and placed his books inside the desk. Then, closing the lid, he sat and waited for the clock to strike 8:00. Finally, the clock struck 8:00. The teacher closed his book, and stood up and rapped on his desk for order. “Good morning class” the teacher said. “Good morning Mr. Lore” replied the class.
At 12:00 the bell suddenly rung and all the students clamored out of the class room and ran outside. George went with them. While he was at recess he heard a lot of kids talking about the volcano. “Hey George” said George’s friend Bill. “Did you see the volcano this morning”? “Yeah I did” said George. “So what do you think about it” said Bill? “Well I think that it will work out fine” said George. “I’m not so sure” said Bill. “Why” asked George? “Because my dad said that the volcano has not erupted for a long time, so it should erupt any day now” said Bill. Ring ring “that’s the bell” said George. As George walked towards the door, he looked back and saw the volcano it was still smoking. He wondered if it would erupt.
When he got home he went to the refrigerator to find a snack. He grabbed an apple and ran to his room. He got on his computer and double clicked on Google. He typed in “volcanoes” and he saw a website called Mount St. Helen. “I’ve heard of that” he said. George clicked on the website and he read:
Mount St. Helen erupted on May 18th 1980 at 8:32 AM. A quarter of the mountain was blasted off. A huge dust cloud filled with lava, rock and debris headed for Seattle at 200 MPH. The vibration from the volcano cost a tsunami in spirit lack.
“Wow, volcanoes can cause a lot of damage” George said. He took a bite of his apple and read further:
Fifty seven people whir killed in the eruption. If the eruption had happened a day later the death total would have been much higher…
“George” his mom called! “Yeah” he said! “It’s diner time”! “Okay” replied George.
About half way through dinner George’s mom said “George I have some thing to tell you.” “Yeah” said George. “Wall I’ve decided that we should leave Seattle” said his mom. “What!” shouted George? “I said that we will be leaving Seattle,” replied George’s mom. “But why?” asked George. “Wall in case the volcano erupts.” she said. “But you said that it was all right.” George said. “Yes but it never hurts to be prepared.” George’s mom said. George was thinking he had never lived anywhere but Seattle. Suddenly his mom’s voice broke through his thoughts. “I was thinking that we would leave on Thursday, and then we would,” “but where will we go?” interrupted George. “We are going to Aunt Martha’s,” said his mom. “Oh, we’re going to California,” said George. “Yeah. I was thinking that we would go to San Francisco, and then we would do some site seeing” she said. “Then what?” asked George. “We will get on a plane and go to San Diego” said George’s mom. “How long will we stay there?” George asked. “Probably a two weeks.” replied George’s mother. “So we will not be staying?” asked George. “Yes,” answered George’s mom.
After diner George went to his room. He walked to a bookshelf. George pulled a newspaper article out. The article was four years old. It was called mount “Fujiyama Erupts.” George started reading:
Mount Fujiyama erupted in Japan six days ago. It killed seven American volcanologists that were on her slopes when she erupted. Their names are here, Fred Matthews, Bob Adams, John Smith, Bill Tyler, Jason Harrison, Arthur Johnson and David Michelson…
George stared at the last name on the list; David Michelson was George’s dad. He always stopped reading after this part.
George had not known how long he stood there, but suddenly the clock struck 9:15 PM. He had to go to bed in 15 minutes. George put the newspaper article back in the bookshelf.
No. 2 – This one is Something else…
This one is probably one of the oldest ‘stories’ I have. I wrote it when I was 10, and it’s special. The context is that I didn’t have imaginary friends, as much as I had an imaginary storyline/world I would have adventures in as a kid. This world was heavily influenced by the media I watched (Star Wars had a strong effect on it). Sometimes, before I could write, I would take a blank cassette tape and record ‘audio books’ about the world, characters, and adventures therein (I was the main character, of course). Then, one day, I started writing them down instead. This is one of those. All the characters in this story were regulars in my little adventures, and that’s why there is no introduction to any of them. Because why would I? Everyone knows who Trubs is after all – he’s Trubs!
Funny enough, I had a better grasp of dialog structure when I was ten than two years later in Eruption. I really love how the narrative structure makes no sense here. Characters just show up and then leave with no warning. The narrator changes too, moving from traditional 3rd person narration to 1st person with no warning. What I’m confused most by is how there is little sign of my dyslexic brain milling about the words. Perhaps my mom typed it, and I dictated. I know she did that for me when I was very young, so maybe that’s the case here too. It would explain the better dialog structure, too.
Just for fun, I’m going to put the whole thing in (All 3 perfect chapters!). I’ve included some dropdown comments within the gripping narrative to capture my own reaction to reading it again.
The Mystery of the Golden Arrow
Comment!
A “Golden Arrow” is never mentioned at all anywhere… Where is it? Why does no one know talk about it? MAYBE THATS THE MYSTERY?!?
Chapter 1: The First Blizzard
One snowy December Jim was looking out of the window. His two friends asked him, “What are you doing?”
“Looking out the window. Can’t you see?”
Answered Jim rudely. “I wonder when Seth is going to come back?”
As they looked out the window, they saw a dot in the sky.
Jim said, “I think its Seth.”
His friend Michael contradicted and said, “No, I think its Hubert.”
Comment!
I love this line, I don’t know why. I’ve always enjoyed it when a sentence is redundant in it’s “mater-of-factness.” I think there is something stupid but funny about it.
Then Michael heard a knock on the door. He ran to open it and when he did, he saw his dad in the doorway. Michael said, “Hey Pop, any news?”
“Yes, there is some news. There’s someone named Jim in town.”
At this, Jim smiled to himself.
Comment!
Jim was the main villain in most of the adventures. And, while I was in the stories, I wasn’t the main character all the time, Tommy was. For some reason in these adventures Jim and I were adults and most of the other characters were kids.
“Hey Jim, it looks like you’re wearing your black sweatshirt again.” Remarked Seth. “Hey Frank, what’s up?”
Then Seth said, “Where is Trubs and Tommy?”
Comment!
I like how I and this ‘Frank” character just are there. I also enjoy how Frank is never mentioned again after I say hi to him.
Jim answered, “They’re at the train station.”
Seth said, “You let them escape again!?”
“They kept asking for ice cream until I got so annoyed that I told them to go upstairs,” answered Jim.
Seth answered him saying, “Well I might need to send a babysitter over to take care of you while I’m gone.”
Jim answered, “Well, I think I’ll take a walk. In Jim’s mind he was really going to a scythe training school.”
Comment!
This is so cool. 10 year old me was so cool.
Before Jim got back, I heard a galloping down the road. I looked out the window and saw Tommy galloping on his horse, Ranger. Then I heard a shouting of kids and saw a big gang chasing Tommy. Something told me inside to look at the northwest. What I saw was a cloud. I opened the window and shouted to Tommy, “Tommy, get into the house quickly!” Then I saw Tommy reel into the driveway but right before he did so, I saw a bully slip on the ice and hit his head on the hard cement. Then I saw Tommy fly towards the stable door. Just as he did, a gust of wind struck the house. When I got up I saw nothing but white. I knew Tommy was trying to find his way from the stable to the house. Then I heard knocking on the front door. I ran over, threw open the door, and found myself staring into the eyes of young Tommy. I let him in and the blizzard gave a loud shriek and then it died down.
Comment!
This is the strangest part of the ‘story.’ Somehow the narration changes and starts being from ‘Seth’s’ POV instead. Why? I don’t know. Later it changes back to 3rd person
Also, this blizzard is directly from The Little House on the Prairie.
I said, “At least that’s over.”
However, ten seconds later I heard another loud shriek and, I swear to you, Tommy’s hair stood straight up! For five days the winds of the blizzard went up and down our street, destroying lampposts, tearing up people’s lawns, ripping off shingles and tarpaper. On the fifth day I woke up and heard Tommy singing, “When I was only two years old I left my lips out in the cold and they turned blue. What could I do? On the day I got my tooth, I had to kiss my great Aunt Ruth; she had a beard, and it felt weird. Ten days after I turned 8 I got my lips stuck in a gate, my friends all laughed. I just stood there till the fire department came and broke the lock with a crow bar. Then I had to spend the next six weeks in lip rehab. Then I met a kid named Oscar, who got stung by a bee right on the lip and we couldn’t even talk to each other till the fifth week when our lips were so swollen. When we did start speaking he only spoke Polish and I only knew three words in Polish until now, because Oscar taught me the word for lip, husta.”
Comment!
Okay, this is the most embarrassing part of this story. This song is directly from Veggie Tales, the beloved children’s animated movie series featuring vegetables who retell biblical stories in a fun filled way. This song is from one of the intermissions called “Silly Songs With Larry” (Larry the Cucumber obviously). It’s was one of the silliest songs out of all the silly songs and me and my brothers loved it, so I included, not a reference to it, but practically the whole thing.
When Tommy was finished his song, I heard silence outdoors. I realized the blizzard had stopped. I jumped out of bed and outside of the warm covers the air was freezing cold. I looked out the window and the snow went up to our attic! I shouted to Tommy and heard a rattling of pans. I went down stairs and saw Tommy making French toast like he was 21! I asked Tommy, “What in the world do you think you’re doing?”
He answered, “Making French toast.”
Comment!
I like how as soon as I know what Tommy is doing (something that is very obvious before I even asked) I just accept it and sit down.
As we sat down to eat some breakfast, I saw Tommy’s little brother, Trubs, walking down the steps. Then I remembered a morning paper came in so I started reading. In the middle of a sentence I paused and looked at Tommy. I smiled and said, “Tommy, there’s a horse race in town. You might want to bring Ranger to it.”
Tommy nodded his head. Trub’s mouth dropped.
Chapter 2: The Horse Race
When Tommy got up at dawn, he ran downstairs and ate his breakfast in a hurry. Then he went out to the barn, did his chores and leapt onto Ranger. He galloped out of the yard and onto the road. As he sped across the road, he gazed out of the corner of his eye and saw how beautiful the world looked under a blanket of snow. It seemed like no time had passed when he slowed his horse into the parking lot. He led Ranger to the racetrack. As he was leading Ranger to the racetrack, a man said, “Hey boy, come here I’ve got something for you”.
But Tommy answered, saying, “My mom doesn’t want me talking to strangers, but thanks anyway.” Then he walked away.
Comment!
I was a very good boy who listened to his parents. However, while I didn’t know why strangers were dangerous, I did manage to write the creepiest, least subtle child predator possible.
It seemed like minutes before the man said, “Go.”
Comment!
This is a different man then the stranger danger guy. Also a common trope throughout this whole thing is how time seems like an after thought. The narrative moves from moment to moment with little connection between them. I think as a writer now I’ve over corrected a bit, feeling as if every minute needs to be accounted for or else it’s poor writing.
When Tommy was halfway across the track, he glanced over and saw a man whom he recognized. Behind him he saw several white figures. He realized the white figures were clones. Then he heard a shot ring out from the stands. Suddenly he realized the clones were firing their guns.
Comment!
And there is the mandatory Star Wars inclusion, right on que.
He leaped from his horse, telling Ranger to stay on the track. Drawing his sword while in the air, it met with a clang as it hit Jim’s sword. Tommy tripped over a seat and tumbled over. As his sword hit Jim’s, it broke it in half. When Jim realized that his sword was gone, he whipped something from his belt and turned it on. When Tommy realized Jim had turned on a light saber, he noticed it was not blue or green but red.
Comment!
I like how both characters “realize” so much during this fight. I like to imagine it as a movie scene where both characters keep doing things that take the other completely by surprise, to only then counter with a surprise of their own.
Also, I love how they go from normal sword, to lightsaber in the fight.
Chapter 3: A Daring Fencing Match with Jim
The battle was quickly over and Tommy went home with a gold medal and 100 dollars. When he got home it was evening. I looked out the window and saw Tommy coming in on his horse, Ranger. Then I shouted, “Tommy, why are you so late?”
Comment!
I love how its just over. The fight that is. But what I love more is how the race wasn’t canceled, as if in this world sword fights and clone attacks against children are so normal no one bother to stop the race.
Tommy shouted back, ignoring my question, “Ranger won the race!”
After he came in we sat down to have dinner. It was hamburgers and hot dogs with a few French fries. When we finished the meal, Tommy went off to bed. Once he got into his room he bolted the door tightly. Then he took out his 100-dollar prize that he neglected to tell me about, did his chores, and got into bed.
Comment!
I love how passive aggressive the narrator is here. Like, somehow he knows about the 100-dollar prize even if Tommy didn’t tell him (me?) about it. I also like the implication that ALL of his chores are done in his room.
The next morning he woke up and remembered it was Sunday. Tommy had some pretty fun things planned for Sunday. He was going to play battle ship with his sister, Mary. Then in the afternoon he was going to fencing practice. He leaped out of bed and rushed to put on his clothes. He forgot the door was still bolted from last night and he ran into it. He shook his head, unbolted it and ran out.
Comment!
Some good slapstick comedy right there. Also, while the story ends pretty much here, based on both the chapter title and the ‘fencing’ practice mentioned above, I’m just assuming that maybe there was going to be kind of throw down at the practice. What I don’t know is if I was going to have Jim show up again, or if he was also in the same class as Tommy. We know that Jim has his his scythe practice that he attends (in his mind anyway) but that was like 8 days ago (in universe). Maybe there are different classes in the same school? I wish I had the answers.
He went downstairs and ate cold cereal.
Comment!
As opposed to hot cereal.
Then he went outside
What A ride. Safe to say I’ve gotten better at writing. Hopefully… Maybe I’ll try writing like this on purpose sometime, just for fun. Anyways, thank you for indulging all this retrospection! If you want to see how much better I am now, check out My Fiction.